From LifeDate - Fall 2007.

Adoption has always been very close to my heart. In my family I have three adopted cousins and Carl and I have four adopted children: two Caucasians adopted domestically and two Koreans through international adoption. Adoption has been used for generations as a God-pleasing way to create a family, but, unfortunately, it is not well understood in our society. Adoption is perceived as a way to get rid of unwanted children. Children who are placed for adoption are told by our society that they were "given away" or "put up" for adoption as if they were inhuman. I have been told by well-meaning, but rude strangers that my Korean children were very lucky that we had adopted them, to which I responded, "No, we are blessed to have them." When friends suggested that hopefully someday Carl and I would have children of our own, we replied, "But these ARE our children."

Women who place their children for adoption are sometimes viewed as bad mothers who don’t really love their child. Birth moms are asked, "How could you give your child away?" This negative attitude toward adoption in our country has made a difference in the number of women who choose adoption for their babies. Many women in a crisis pregnancy would rather abort their child than carry their baby for nine months and then "give it away." Unbelievably, abortion many times is construed to be a more of a loving option than adoption.

This phenomenon will not change until our society recognizes that adoption is a painful, sacrificial decision made by a loving mother for the sake of her child. I have the most respect for the birth moms of my four children and have always told my children the truth—that their moms loved them so much that they made a plan to provide them with a better future than they could give. The following is translated from a letter written by a Korean birth mom to her child.

"It is hard for me to write this letter. I hope you will remember that every decision I made, I made for you. I don’t think the reason that I placed you for adoption was because I didn’t love you. It was really a hard decision for me, but I think my decision was right for you. As your mother I was always concerned about you. There was no way for us to live together. I preferred to say good-bye to you rather than to live with you, if that decision could bring you better opportunities. And that’s why I decided to place you with others. Looking into adoption, I realized that you would get something that I could not provide-a family. You needed to be loved by family members, and you could have that love only if you were in a family. I couldn’t give that love by myself. Therefore, adoption was my gift to you. Please don’t forget that I love you. I’ll love you and worry about you forever."