Abortion Healing

Abortion Healing

Sin brings death and destruction. The sin of abortion brings death to a unique, unborn child. It also brings destruction to other lives - destruction of relationships, of families, of faith. Abortion is a life-shattering tragedy that occurs one and a half million times each year. It devastates women, men, grandparents, brothers and sisters who carry sorrow for a child they will never know, or guilt for a child they rejected.

There are nearly twelve million American women who have had at least one abortion. They are our wives, daughters, sisters, friends. Many women are encouraged to abort - by husband, boyfriend, parents, friends. The congregation may offer little support - some even counseling that abortion is the best solution to a difficult and embarrassing situation: Clinic personnel say it is "safe", saying nothing of the physical damage, or long-term emotional consequences. The Supreme Court says it is "legal." A tragic decision is made - sometimes with full knowledge, often with little knowledge. A baby is killed.

Abortion may bring an initial sense of relief ("my problem's over"). But abortion is a violent and traumatic experience whose full consequences may not be felt until long after the event.

For many women, the emotional trauma of abortion is rooted in the profound grief that naturally follows a loss through death. However, with abortion, painful memories and fear of coming to grips with personal responsibility for the death of her child may be too great to face. A denial of the facts of the experience and a repression of grief and guilt enables the woman to cope and go on. This denial often lasts from two to five years, sometimes as much as thirty years or longer.

One woman explained her denial:

"When I had my abortions, I told myself that what was inside of me was just a piece of tissue, a product of conception, fetal parts, a cell. I had a lot of intellectual justification for what I had done." But later, in therapy, the truth came out and "...it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had two babies, and I killed them."

Denial only postpones a reckoning with the reality - and finality - of the abortion decision. The pain and guilt of the abortion, buried under denial, leads to a distorted thought and behavior pattern which is called Post-Abortion Syndrome. Symptoms may include anger, fear, guilt, sadness, depression, self-hatred, anxiety, nightmares, mood-swings, flashbacks (of the abortion), drug and alcohol abuse, promiscuity, frigidity, numbness of feelings, withdrawal, anorexia, suicide thoughts or attempts (especially on date baby was due to be born); child abuse and others.

The emotional and spiritual damage of abortion is not limited to women. A major metropolitan abortion counseling outreach reports that 40% of their calls for help are from men.

Those wounded by abortion, as with any sin; have a friend and a healer in Jesus Christ. It is He who was sent "to bind up the brokenhearted" and "to comfort all who mourn." (Isaiah 61:1, 2)

Once denial is broken, the path to healing lies through repentance, confession and acceptance of full forgiveness in Jesus Christ. May His outpoured grace work this healing in many lives.

DENIAL

Spend a few minutes discussing: "What is abortion?" "What is the reality of abortion, and what are examples of denial?" "What are examples of other sins we rationalize (justify)?" "What does denial keep one from coming to grips with?"

"Abortion doesn't kill a real baby."

READ Psalm 139:13-16

"No one, really knows when life begins."

Dr. Jean Garton has said, "If life does not begin at conception, then biological fatherhood is an arrogant male myth." Is this so? Discuss this scenario: a virginal couple fly to the Caribbean for their honeymoon where they consummate the marriage. Returning home, their plane crashes on a deserted island; the husband is killed. Shortly afterwards the woman discovers she is pregnant, and subsequently delivers twins: a boy and a girl. When did life begin? Is the deceased husband the twins' biological father.

READ Luke 1:34, 35; 39-45.

"Abortion is legal, therefore it must be alright."

READ Proverbs 14:12; Exodus 1:15-23. Slavery was once legal, was it alright?'

Denial is a way we avoid accepting responsibility for our sin. Consider the reactions of the following people:

READ Genesis 3:11-13 Did Adam deny his sin? Whom did he really blame? (vs. 12) Whom did Eve blame? (vs.13).

READ Luke 23:13-18; then Matthew 27:11-26. What did Pilate attempt to avoid or escape? What special significance did washing his hands with water convey? Certainly Pilate was pressured. Could he claim he was coerced, and thus innocent?

READ 2 Samuel 11. Pay close attention to verses. 5,10 -11,14, 27. What was David trying to hide? How? Was he successful? Read verse 27 again and Hebrews 4:12,13. DISCUSS.

Why must denial be broken?

READ 2 Samuel 12. Note especially verses 1,7,13.

Now READ Psalms 19:12 and 2 Corinthians 7:8-10. Why is denial dangerous?

READ Proverbs 24:11,12. How can this scripture apply to us? Some say abortion is too painful, too personal or too controversial to discuss openly in a congregation. READ Acts 20:27,28. How do these Scriptures apply to parents, friends, congregations who face crisis pregnancies? Can they practice a form of denial? Why? Now READ Ephesians 4:14,15 and 2 Timothy 4:1-3. DISCUSS.

ANGER

When denial is broken and realization comes, ("I killed my baby") a woman may feel anger or even rage toward those she thinks let her down. She may have experienced lack of support and compassion in her crisis pregnancy. She may have been pressured or even coerced into having an abortion. She may feel anger toward boyfriend, parents, friends, pastor, health professional, God, and not the least - toward herself. The intensity of emotion may be nearly overwhelming. Why? Is anger appropriate?

READ Ephesians 4:26,27. What can anger turn into?

READ Hebrews 12:15. If anger is a fire left burning - whom will it eventually consume? It is important to seek counsel from an understanding minister or friend.

DEPRESSION

Anger turned inwards becomes self condemnation or self pity. Paralyzing guilt can make self-condemnation or self-pity a prison of grief, sorrow, and depression that endures for years. Depression is also compounded when there is no outlet to express the profound remorse a woman (or man) feels at the loss of her aborted child.

How does the Bible describe people with broken hearts?

READ Psalm 38:1-10, Psalm 40:11,12; Psalm 6:1-6.

FORGIVENESS

When guilt gnaws away at us, what does God call us to do? What does He promise?

READ Psalms 32:1-5, 41:4, 51:1-3, 1 John 1:9, 1 Peter 2:24-25.

After ten years of painful denial, one woman wrote: "I carry this secret sin around inside me. I share it with very few people - to those whom I know will not care one way or the other. I do want to confess this sin to a minister, but. I am so afraid - afraid that he will tell me what I already believe: I am a horrible person and I don't deserve the great forgiveness of God."

DISCUSS: James 5:16, 2 Corinthians 5:19, 20.

Who is greater than our sin? What is greater than our guilt?

READ 2 Corinthians 5:21. Is the sin of abortion included in this exchange?

Is there help when the guilt, shame, depression return?

READ 1 John 3:19, 20.

Where can we go for help, comfort and strengthening?

READ Colossians 3:16, Galatians 6:1, 2, Matthew 26:26-28.

What about forgiving others - those who hurt us or let us down?

READ Colossians 3:13, Matthew 6:15,

PEACE

READ Isaiah 61:1-3; Luke 4:17-21. To whom does this prophecy point? What is His Mission?

READ Philippians 4:7. On what is this peace based? READ Romans 5:1, Isaiah. 54:10.

What does the future hold? READ Isaiah. 25:8, Jeremiah 31:15-17a, Revelation 21:3,4.

(a personal testimony of healing)

"I forgive you all your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Those were words that, several months ago, I did not believe were meant for me. I was convinced God could not forgive me my sin of abortion. Now, through those very words, I have found peace - with God and with myself.

I turned to the God that I have always known deep down in my being. I asked for strength to finally let my secret out. Obviously, I was not keeping the secret from God, but I felt the need to share it with someone who could share God's forgiving nature with me. He gave me that strength.

Sharing my secret with another human being who could, and did, share God's redeeming love for me was like opening a door. This door let the skeleton out of the closet for me. In this case, my skeleton was that of a ten-week old fetus - a child of God whom I did not allow to live. His skeleton had been in that closet for ten years. I was denying his being there so that I could deny my sin. I could not accept God's forgiveness because I could not accept myself or my sin.

Allowing myself to feel all of the emotions that I had been hiding all those years - the pain and grief - allowed me to come out and bow down at Jesus' feet and say, "I'm sorry." Only then could I feel Jesus hands reach out, pick me up, and hear Him say to me, "You are forgiven!"

The enormous relief that I felt at the moment of that realization is beyond words, indeed, beyond all human reasoning. But I am free! Free from Satan's bonds and chains that have been dragging me down for ten years. Jesus is my Savior! I am truly reconciled with God through Jesus Christ.

I lost a child. My heart aches for that child, but I cannot bring him back. Perhaps one day I shall meet that child - the one I never allowed myself to know. I cannot change the past, but through the Holy Spirit God has allowed me to face the future with my head held high. He loves me and I love Him!

Alleluia!

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This Bible study is available in reproducible form as part of Life Studies - Volume One. Click here to go to the on-line Life Resource Catalog.