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Tips
for Teens on How to Say "NO"
1. Make
a Commitment:
To
yourself - Decide that
you want to wait for marriage.
To your
parents - Many parents
and teens have a special day set aside to formally make that commitment and a
special piece of jewelry is given to the teen to commemorate that day as a
reminder of that promise. Others have signed a card as a sign of their
commitment to chastity.
To a
friend with like values - This person can help keep you
accountable to that promise as you do the same for him/her.
To your
date - Agree that the
relationship will be kept free of sex.
To God -
For those with a
religious affiliation, make this decision a spiritual commitment.
2.
AVOID:
Being
completely alone with your boyfriend or girlfriend - instead, date in groups, or
attend functions with other people.
Intimate
environments - Do not
visit his or her house when no one else is home, don't park in a car in a
secluded area or walk in the woods, etc.
Stimulation - Many
factors may influence you to temporarily “forget” your commitment to abstain
from sex: music with sexually explicit lyrics; movies, television, and books
which portray graphic sexual situations or promote non-marital sex; “sexy” or
revealing clothing; physical stimulation, such as prolonged kissing or
caressing.
3.
PLAN AHEAD:
Know
where you are going, with whom, what you will do when you get there, and what
time you will be home. Lack of plans lead to boredom; boredom can lead to sex.
Have an
agreement with your parents that you will call them if you find yourself in a
situation that does not agree with your values and they will come pick you up.
Always carry a quarter for a pay phone or call collect!
Look
for a way out, an escape, an excuse if you find yourself in a pressure squeeze.
Josh McDowell, well known author and speaker, suggests if someone pressures you
to have sex, tell them to call your father and if it's alright with him, it's
alright with you!
4.
DATE
SOMEONE WITH THE SAME VALUES:
If the
person you date does not have respect for your values and your feelings as a
person, don’t get involved.
Date
people you know, and be aware of each other’s guidelines for dating. Be sure you
both have a clear agreement of what chastity means and the word “NO.”
5.
BREAK OFF
THE RELATIONSHIP:
If
consistent pressure is being applied to give in to sex, you may need to end the
relationship before you give in or physical force is applied, as in date rape.
6.
WAIT TO
DATE:
Various
studies show the effects of early dating on teen sexuality; the younger the age
of onset for dating, the younger the age for the first sexual encounter.
7.
DATE
SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE:
A young
adolescent who dates someone several years older can be more easily manipulated
and pressured into having sex.
8.
BE FRIENDS
FIRST:
Concentrate on establishing a friendship and get to know each other as
individuals rather than focusing on physical attraction.
Remember, you are only a teenager for seven years, but it only takes a few
minutes in the heat of uncontrolled passion to get pregnant or to acquire a
disease, several of which are incurable, one of which is fatal.
Reprinted from
LifeSupport (Spring/Summer ‘92), a publication of the Human Development
Resource Council, Inc., Norcross, GA.
This article is available in brochure form from LFL. Click
here to go to the on-line
Life Resource Catalog.
© Non-commercial use permitted without prior permission,
provided that proper credit is attributed.
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