The ultrasound picture taken for one of our clients at the pregnancy center said "8 weeks, 4 days." As I looked at the tiny head, stubby arms, and short torso, I was overwhelmed with emotion for this baby was no more. The mother had an abortion the week before. She already had one child by another man. That now grown child also had had a child—and none of the men stayed around to help with the children. The mother who had the abortion knew that the father of this baby would not stick around either—why would he be different? None of them had before. So she aborted her baby. But even worse, this father never even had the chance to demonstrate if he would stay around and be a father—she didn’t bother to tell him she was pregnant.

We often hear stories at the pregnancy center of men abandoning their women and their unborn children. The men say, "you have to have an abortion; you’ve got to go through with it." Or we hear, "I will support her in any decision she makes," which is a euphemism for doing nothing.

What has happened to our culture? There was a time when men were expected to step up to the plate and be responsible for their actions. Men were expected to marry the mother of their child if they were pregnant outside of wedlock, but the advent of radical feminism, the sexual revolution, and abortion has changed all that.

Bernard Nathanson, one of the founders of NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League), has stated that the words, "her decision," were used at the beginning of the pro-abortion movement because it was to be "her problem." This was a subtle shift that discreetly separated the man not only from any part in the pregnancy decision, but from any responsibility for the role he played in that pregnancy.

Feminism compounded the problem by confusing the roles of men and women and redefined the word "support." Pregnant women now sit in our country’s abortion clinics waiting for their men to rescue them. They wait for their Prince Charming to whisk them away, telling them, "I’ll take care of you and the baby; you don’t have to go through with the abortion." But men have been carefully taught by radical feminism that expressing any opinion in a pregnancy is inappropriate, so they respond by seeing their role as affirming any decision the woman makes, technically abandoning her.

Men have been told by our abortion culture that they have no say in a pregnancy or the life of their child. The decision to carry the baby is the woman’s alone. We should not be surprised that men, who traditionally have been protectors of mothers and children, have responded to the abortion culture by walking away and abandoning their women and children.

But not all men abandon their unborn children. Many do step up to the plate, offering support for their children. There are others who want to protect their offspring, but are told they have no say. A grieving post-abortive father writes, "I still don’t quite know why your mother aborted you. I did all in my power to convince her to have you. She angrily told me she wanted both you and me out of her life. She got her wish."

There is a great need in our society for men to be men. Frederica Mathewes-Green, in her book Real Choices (Multonmah Books, 1994), describes the role of the pregnancy center as building "an artificial husband." She relays the story of a counselor at a center answering a hotline call and speaking with a woman considering abortion. After reviewing what the center had to offer in the way of support, the counselor asked the woman a summary question: "Tell me—when you imagine yourself continuing the pregnancy and having this baby, what do you need the most?" The woman laughed: "Honey, I need a man!"

What can we do as LFLers to be countercultural and really make a difference?

Educate: Call on your pastor and congregation to educate both men and women within your congregation on the biblical roles of men and women. LFL has materials to help!

Encourage: Point to Christ as the source of forgiveness and hope. Ask godly husbands and fathers to reach out and mentor younger men in your congregation or community.

"Encourage young men to use good judgment. Always set an example by doing good things. When you teach, be an example of moral purity and dignity . . . After all, God’s saving kindness has appeared for the benefit of all people. " Titus 2:6,11