We all have a story, and my family is no different. Over 35 years ago, God used our infertility and the adoption of four children to push my husband and me into a pro-life ministry that has been the passion and focus of our lives. He took a bitter and painful situation and used it to mold the lives of two unwilling people for the purpose He had intended.
Fast forward to 2013—to the highly anticipated birth of our first grandchild. Mike (our oldest son) and Katie had been married for several years and were eagerly awaiting the birth of their first child, as were Grandma and Grandpa. Molly Clare Schroeder was born on December 14, 2013, amidst great expectation and hoopla. But soon there was a problem. Molly did not pass her newborn hearing screening test. Then there began a series of appointments with doctors and audiologists to find a diagnosis. Soon it came: profound hearing loss. Due to a genetic issue, Molly was completely deaf. It was a devastating diagnosis for Mike and Katie. Into their perfect plans for parenting, a horrible diagnosis had been thrown. Their initial emotions were overwhelming. Will Molly ever speak, hear music, hear a bird sing, or say I love you? Fear of the unknown engulfed Mike and Katie. They knew nothing about deafness. All they knew was that deafness was the inability to hear and subsequently speak. Would they need to learn sign language to communicate with their child? They didn’t know of any other options.
Soon, however, hope entered the picture. At their first appointment with an audiologist at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago, Child’s Voice (a special school for deaf children) was mentioned. At the school, children with hearing loss who are equipped with devices, such as hearing aids or Cochlear® implants, are taught to hear, speak, and live in a hearing world. Their audiologist told them that they believed Molly could be a candidate for a Cochlear® implant, which would allow her to hear, and they were encouraged to visit the school.
At Child’s Voice, children with various devices came up to them and introduced themselves. They soon realized that Molly did have a future. It was apparent that Molly’s deafness was part of God’s plan for their lives. They firmly know that He would not give them more than they could handle. Their initial “Why me? Why Molly?” turned to prayers for strength, for Molly, and for guidance in raising their daughter. A series of intense therapies then began, including Cochlear® implantation that dictated their lives. Now five years later, Molly is a chatterbox. Her brother, Beau, also equipped with Cochlear® implants, will be starting full-time preschool this year. Their lives have been transformed. They have found a whole new community of teachers, friends, and fellow parents and have become advocates for the deaf community to the hearing world in which they live. How they handled the adversity that confronted them is an example for others. It is apparent that God is working in their lives.
Here are some suggestions from Mike and Katie for others going through a similar journey: First, for them as for all of us, it is imperative to look for the good. Katie talks about the blessing of the first time your child’s Cochlear® implants are activated and they hear a sound—a truly special moment. Most parents are not blessed that way and only experience the usual milestones—sitting, crawling, walking. All families have fellow groups that they associate with—school, sports, music, theater, etc.—but their family is unique. They have an additional sub group: the deaf community. A huge positive for them was finding a community they didn’t even know existed. Now they head up the parent association plus other events, blessing the other deaf families at Child’s Voice with their skills, passion, time, and devotion.
Second, when facing adversity, embrace the situation. Once Katie and Mike realized that this was God’s plan for their life, they got going. They have children to raise! “Fight the urge to sit in a dark room and cry. Find the positive and embrace it. You can’t just sit behind a computer and do research—you have to live it,” says Katie. “We can’t dwell on the negatives; we must lean on God and move forward. Find the support you need (no matter what it is), such as counseling, financial aid, education.” For Mike and Katie it was finding Child’s Voice, a resource that has changed their whole lives.
Although the future is bright for Molly and Beau, Mike and Katie still worry about how their deaf children will survive in a hearing world. What will schoolmates say about their “special ears”? How will Molly get up for a college class if she can’t hear the alarm clock? But God has been faithful, and as they continue their walk within the deaf community, these answers will become apparent.
As for me, Grandma, when Molly’s deafness was first diagnosed, I thought through my tears: “God, what are you doing? Can’t I ever have a ‘normal’ life?” But soon it was apparent that God in His wisdom had a different plan. And every day I am blessed to see His plan as a little girl with her “special ears” runs to me, yells Grandma, and gives me a hug.
God is faithful all the time. Trust God and watch Him work.